


Sanders Sides Stories

by Kalzul



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Again not just Virgil, Anxiety Attacks, Crying, Eventual Smut, Hiding Emotions, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecurity, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Not depression, Not only Virgil tho, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Patton and Virgil are emotion based traits, Purging, Roman and Logan are thinking based traits, Roman and Logan can be asses, Sadness, Self-Induced Vomitting, Smut, Suicidal Themes, Suicide, Therefore they think and work differently, Thomas is thicc, Thought I'd put that out there, Virgil has Anxiety, and are more emotional, just saying, minor self-harm, nooo, obvs tho, self-hate, smut with no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2018-12-14 03:35:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11774652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalzul/pseuds/Kalzul
Summary: A series of stories that the mere idea of kept me awake at night but hopefully I will take pride in once they are written, published and read by people, I guess?





	1. Warnings - Content Warnings

* * *

**WARNINGS**

_Please, be cautious when reading if you are sensitive to:_

S U I C I D E,

Anxiety,

Anxiety Attacks,

Self-Harm,

Self-Hate/Insecurity,

Induced Vomiting/Purging,

and Hiding Emotions.

_Thank you very much and enjoy if you read._

* * *

 


	2. Even Patton Has a Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in a very long time, Patton woke up on the wrong side of the bed. More specifically, the sad side of the bed and nothing was going right. Seems all he needs is some cheering up, will his counterparts provide?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of this and clapped my hands together so fast, I am so excited xD
> 
> Pairing: Poly Sanders - Friendship  
>  Implied Logicality (Logan is so cute x3)

In all honesty, Patton did...not have a great start to the morning. He jolted awake to the sound of something outside and couldn't fall back asleep. Even if he usually wakes up early, 6:30 in the morning is still a very ungodly hour to be awake. As he went to the kitchen to make a coffee, he slipped on an oven mitt that had fallen from the oven door handle and dropped his mug, watching it smash as he and it fell to the floor. To make matters worse, when he was cleaning it up he got several cuts on his hands, hissing in pain as he cleaned it up with extra carefulness. By 7 in the morning, he had bruised his elbow, ankle and butt, broke his favourite mug, cut his hands in the most inconvenient places and had the world's worst headache. Needless to say, Patton was frustrated and sad already.

When he managed to actually get his coffee in the making, Roman and Logan walked in looking oh-so-very tired, brows furrowed and arms crossed. Patton turned to them, smiling in halfhearted cheerfulness, "good morning, kiddos! You're..up early?" Roman glared at him harshly, Logan copying him with less intensity, "we both woke suddenly to the sound of someone falling and the smashing of glass and couldn't get back to sleep." Patton rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "my-" Logan cut him off, "what are you doing up this early, Patton? Making this much careless noise, no less. Care to explain yourself?" Logan had an irritated tone, glaring at Patton.

"I'm real-" "Actually, yeah!" Roman huffed loudly, annoyed, "why're you making this much noise when you _know_ everyone else is asleep? Being the so called "dad", I would have assumed that you would be more caring." It took everything Patton had to not flinch, he really was sorry. "I am so sorry, guys. I just slipped and dropped my mug, but I really am sorry." His voice held pure remorse but they both didn't look satisfied.  

Roman scoffed, still holding his intense glare, "of course you slipped, why wouldn't you, you're always so air headed!" Roman threw his hands up and walked grumpily out of the kitchen. Patton turned to Logan, meeting his stare, "L-Logan?" Patton stuttered, but Logan looked at him and turned away, walking out while saying, "Roman is right, you know." They both left Patton standing there, a throbbing feeling in his injured places and the stinging of tears his eyes.

~

After that, Patton had ventured back to his room. He sat on his bed and stared at the wall, tears still in his eyes. _He wasn't stupid, he wasn't, they were just angry, he wasn't stupid._ He tried to convince himself, tell himself it wasn't true but deep down he knew they were right. Patton was left blankly staring at a random wall with fat tears streaming down his cheeks, blindly convinced that Roman and Logan hated him.

He had sat there for who knows how long until he tried to calm himself down. He took deep breaths and counted like he told Virgil to do when he was sad. "You  _have_ to calm down, you aren't allowed to be sad, you have to go make breakfast." He forced himself from his spot and quickly headed to the bathroom, rinsing his face with water before heading to the kitchen quietly, glancing at a clock on his way. Apparently, it was almost 9 in the morning, meaning he had done nothing for an hour, making him feel slightly worse and more guilty.

Once he reached the kitchen, he took a quick couple of deep breaths and began to make breakfast, not putting on any music and being extra careful while handling his utensils, because he did not want to recreate the events of earlier. While making breakfast, he tried not to think of how "Roman and Logan hated him" and how he didn't want Virgil to hate him for whatever reason as well. He loved his kiddos as a dad and even if they hated him, he'd love them anyway.

~

When Patton finished serving out their portions, 3 plates full of food, he began to make his rounds. He knocked on Logan's door first, ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of  _Logan hates you_. He knocked a rhythm, "Logan, kiddo, breakfast is ready." He heard a huff behind the door, making the sinking feeling grow stronger. He walked away, ignoring how weak his knees felt. Patton went to Roman's door next. He wished he didn't have to, but that's just how the order of the doors worked. He knocked the same rhythm, "Roman, breakfast is ready." He heard a huff from Roman too, the sinking feeling so strong.

By the time he reached Virgil's room, he wanted nothing more than to crawl under his own bed and lay there forever more. He knocked a weaker rhythm, "V-Virgil, breakfast is ready, kiddo." He heard shuffling but no footsteps, so he knocked again, "kiddo, breakfast time." He heard nothing but a wet sniffle and he already knew what was happening. He opened the door and rushed to Virgil's side. He pulled the blankets away from his face to find Virgil hyperventilating with his hands over his eyes and in a fetal position. "Virgil, I'm here, it's Patton, I'm here," he brushed a hand through his semi-sweaty hair, "c'mon, breathe with me, kiddo."

Virgil took a deep breath before looking Patton in the eyes, "go away," he said, tiredly, "I've got this on my own." Patton stared at him, his hand in Virgil's hair stopped abruptly, "um, a-are you sure, kiddo? I don't think I can just leave-" "I said go, Patton!" Virgil sat up, glaring at him, "take a hint and go! I'm not in the mood and I don't need you!" Patton flinched before smiling widely, no real emotion inside of him, "okay, sorry kiddo. Just know that breakfast i-is ready and if you're not out i-in t-t-twenty minutes, I-I'm bringing it t-to y-you." Patton stood up with tears in his eyes and smiled at him once more before leaving, rushing to his own room.

He closed his door and laid on his bed, tears rushing from his eyes.  _All of them hate you, all of them hate you, you've messed up, they all hate you._ He put a hand over his mouth and the other on his stomach as he sobbed, trying to be quiet.  _Why're you so emotional, why're you crying?_ Patton heaved and choked on his own breath, eyes staring at something he couldn't see looking like he saw a ghost, glasses crooked on his nose.

Taking a choked breath, he thought of what he said to Virgil earlier,  _"Virgil, breathe with me, kiddo."_ Seeing as Patton had no one around him to copy the breathing of, he thought of how the numbers he used when he cried earlier.  _Breathe in for 4 seconds,_ he did, albeit shakily,  _hold for 3 seconds,_ more tears poured while he was holding, but they were slowing,  _out for 4 seconds,_ it was still shaky, but less than the inhale,  _hold for 3 seconds,_ his tears slowed a little more,  _repeat._

Slowly but surely he was beginning to calm down. Not a second too soon either, because as soon as he got his breathing almost back to normal, he felt that familiar tugging of being summoned by Thomas. Patton quickly wiped his face once more and straightened his glasses before plastering on a big smile, willing to be summoned for what he presumed was a video. He hoped the others were alright.

"Hey, kiddo!" Patton greeted, smiling as convincingly as he could, "hello everyone. So, I've got this new video idea and I-" Thomas began explaining his new video idea, which Patton adored. Though anytime he tried to express that he liked it or input an idea, he was cut off or ignored. It normally wouldn't really bother him but today wasn't a good day so it stung more than it normally would have. He took a deep breath, everything was okay.

When Thomas finished listening to them and explaining what they were doing, he gave them little prep for his loud, "WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?!"

They went on through the video as they would, sans any full input from Patton, who continuously kept being interrupted and ignored. Each time hurt a little more than the last. Every time someone interrupted him, the lump in his throat got bigger by a small bit. He kept on smiling though because if he didn't then Thomas and anyone else who cared would notice that something was up. Something  _was_ up but he wouldn't let them know that.

~

Whether they were doing it consciously or not, which Patton presumed the other three traits were and Thomas was just pandering to their talking, poor Patton's heart was clenching in his chest and he couldn't even speak anymore. Well, it's not that he couldn't speak, it's that he didn't trust his own voice. The lump in his throat would definitely hinder his speech, making his pain clearly evident and alerting Thomas of his turmoil.

"I-" Logan. "Wh-" Roman. "Bu-" Virgil. Over and over and over, it was tantalizing and it  _hurt._

He found himself forgetting to breathe, his lungs craving air that he wasn't willing to provide. Patton was a good person, obviously, and even if all of them were talking over him, he was trying to stay as quiet and unnoticeable as he could, even going to the extent to silence his breathing, which was even he was barely able to hear in the first place. He cared for them, not himself.

He kept his hands firmly planted on his hips, trying to pay as little attention as possible to the immense and increasing trembling in his hands. He scanned his eyes over his counterparts, eyeing all of them silently. Patton's eyes were silently pleading, wanting one of them to at least look at him, maybe even notice he was upset. He bit his trembling lip and had to stop himself from wiping his eyes and rid of the building tears that were slowly blurring his vision. He would not cry, he would not cry, he would not cry, get a grip, Patton! He berated himself, accidentally making him feel worse.

Scanning his eyes over his counterparts once more, Patton took note of how happy they were...with him staying silent. They didn't need him, some dad he was. Finally, his tears blurred his vision completely and it took everything in him to hold back his sobs. One of his hands went to his hair, pulling hard. Not hard enough to tear any out, but enough to hurt him. The other hand went to his mouth, covering it in case any noise got out. He closed his eyes and with a small choked noise, Patton sunk down to his room, falling painfully onto all fours while he sobbed his heart out.

~

Logan knew that this was definitely unfair to Patton, but he had to stay stern because the elder had woken him up quite rudely this morning-well, he had apologised with clearly sincere remorse. Still, Logan had a point to prove...but by the looks of it, so did Roman and Virgil. He knows that Roman had woke in the same fashion he had this morning, but he had absolutely no clue why Virgil would be acting this way towards the Parental.

Oh, who was he kidding, Logan felt very guilty every time he interrupted Patton's thoughts, which may have been brilliant. **Patton really was very smart.** As much as he would hate to admit, Logan had a...what's it called, a soft spot? Is that what it is? He had a supposed soft spot for Patton. His unfaltering optimism, his smile that can rival the sun, how much he cares for everyone and everything around him, it's just amazing to Logan.

Though contrary to that, Patton could be serious and stern, he could break down but not often or really for anyone to see. All of the other main traits have gone to Patton for emotional support and guidance, even Logan, and he's always open to comfort them when they're down but Patton himself never asks for help, never needs comforting or seeks it and in crisis situations, he always stays composed and calm. Never once has Logan seen him break down like they have, panic like they have, seek and ask for guidance like they have and just...be vulnerable like they have.

All of those things said, Logan really wants to ask Patton about it because deep emotions and trivial emotions were also part of what Patton represented and the fact that he had never caved into those emotions that should be overpowering and distracting was confusing. Supposedly, Patton should have an extremely fragile heart, making him give in to his emotions and break down more than the three of them combined and be constantly haunted by thoughts of them hating him and being upset at him when he hasn't done anything wrong and just overall be full to the brim with emotions that he's constantly exploding with them.

...not like Logan has thought about this for longer than socially acceptable...definitely not, emotions are the bane of his existence.

Focusing back to the conversation, Virgil was going on and on about some implausible thing that could happen and Roman was facepalming at his antics while Thomas was listening to Virgil with a concerned expression on his face. Everything almost felt normal, that is until a choked noise from Patton's direction caught his attention and he turned to see what it was.

~

Now, Roman knew that this wasn't very "Princely" behaviour but after this morning, Patton deserved it...right? To be fair, he had apologised and made a delicious breakfast for them all, one of their shared favourites. Another point was that Roman had insulted Patton and the poor guy hadn't even defended or stood up for himself, he just accepted Roman's words which obviously struck a sore spot...why had Roman said that? He knew Patton had a sore spot for people calling him stupid, it was an insecurity that he had and Roman knew yet he still poked at it.

By now, Roman was very aware at the fact that he was being unfair and cruel for no reason and by the looks of it, Logan and Virgil were also doing the same "rudely ignore and interrupt Patton" thing that he was, which made this even more unfair. With the three of them combined, Patton hadn't gotten to share a single thought but he never said anything about it or complained, he just smiled and let them share their thoughts instead. **Patton really was very kind.**

He always loved to hear Patton's ideas, they were always so fun and actually plausible, unlike Virgil who was currently ranting about a car crash or something of that sort. As much as it made Roman facepalm, his voice and story made for a perfect distraction from his far from princely behaviour. Poor Patton, he didn't deserve this kind of treatment. He was always there for them and helped them when they needed, always giving and asking for nothing in return.

For Thomas' sake, Roman continued his facepalming at Virgil's story, that is until a choked noise sounded from next to him where Patton was. He turned towards it, wondering what on earth that sound was.

~

Virgil knew he had been harsh, he regretted his words as soon as Patton had smiled at him and when he was summoned and saw Patton, he set out to avoid eye-contact with him at all costs. Another thing he did was interrupt him because  _what if Patton tried to talk with him?_ That'd be awkward and weird and Virgil did not want to go through with that so he kept interrupting him. Right now, however, he realised how stupid that was and he was just being rude now.

It didn't take much time until he realised that Logan and Roman were doing the same thing as him. Of course, he had no clue why but even then, throughout all the rude interruptions and blatant ignoring that Patton was suffering through, he kept dishing Logan, Roman, Virgil and Thomas reassuring looks of support about their opinions and thoughts, even if they weren't letting him share his own.  **Patton really was a very good person.** At some point, they all stopped even looking at him, so those reassuring looks went unseen, even if they all knew that they were there.

Everything had to play as normal, however, because if they didn't, Thomas would surely notice and ask what's up. Virgil didn't want to explain what was up, he just wanted to go back to his room until the given moment when his guilty thoughts make him go and apologise to Patton for his words. "-I don't need you!" Virgil almost cringed thinking about them. He hadn't meant them, he was just upset and in pain, so when Patton walked in, he hadn't wanted him to see Virgil's weak state.

Yes, his words were characteristically harsh, but they never really held any venom. When he's crying and struggling to get any damn oxygen into his lungs, however, everything seems to bite and hold venom. Thinking about it now, his voice had held... _sincerity._ Oh dear god, what if Patton...believed him? What if he took those words to heart? Virgil didn't even want to think of that. 

To make sure that Thomas didn't suspect that something different was eating him, he did what he did best: made Thomas worry about something bad that _could_ happen. Obviously, he knew his statement was highly implausible but that was the point. It seems so implausible, it might just be plausible because you never know what could happen.

He continued his explanation until he heard a familiar noise: a choked  _sob._ To make matters worse, it was from  _Patton's corner._ Getting out of his shock of the noise that struck way too close to home, he whipped his head towards it, curious.

~

In unison, all three traits and their host spoke, "Patton?" They had all turned toward the choked noise from Patton's corner, only to find the Parental wasn't there. "What was that sound?" Thomas asked, looking between them, "I don't know-" "Me neither-" Virgil spoke up, "it was a sob..." he muttered, very quiet. "Pardon, Virgil? Do you know?" He nodded, "i-it was a sob...y'know, crying?" They all 'ooh'ed, but their confused looks didn't disperse. "Why was there a-" Virgil cut Roman off, "don't pretend like you don't know. We've all been assholes to Patton and now we've upset him..." he shrunk on himself, "I think so, anyway..."

Roman and Logan shared a look with each other before turning back to him, "you're...probably right." Roman said, guilty. They stood still for a bit before Virgil furrowed his brows and looked at them, "well? Let's go  _get_ him before he does something stupid...n-not that he is stupid! Just...sadness makes you do dumb things..." Logan nodded at him before turning to Roman, "let's go, Virgil has a point."

Taking a breath, Roman nodded and turned to Thomas, "sorry, Thomas, we'll be back. We won't take too long, hopefully." Thomas smiled at them, though he looked confused, "go help him. I won't stop you." They all shared a smile before the three traits sunk into the mindscape.

They all looked around, "where..." a loud sob cut them short, "that answers that." They all quickly headed to Patton's room and busted open the door. "Patton? Where are you?" Logan called, concerned.  Suddenly, a retching sound cut through the air, grabbing their attention. Virgil was the first to run to the sound, rushing to the en-suite bathroom, slamming open the door to see Patton hugging the toilet-bowl and spilling the contents of his stomach.

While Logan and Roman made their way in, Virgil was already crouched at Patton's side, rubbing between his shoulder blades and holding his hair back, whispering reassurances, just like Patton does for him. "Why would he be-" Logan stopped himself as Patton shrugged Virgil off, shoving two fingers down his throat before hunching over and retching once more. Logan had turned his gaze to Virgil, who had eyes wide as he stared at Patton, hands settled mid-air. "P-Patton," Virgil shakily started, "don't do that. Talk to us, it's okay." Patton was sobbing so hard it hurt and he didn't want them to see him like this.

The urge to use his fingers again was strong but not with them here. "I c-can't..." Patton tried before he gagged again, nothing coming up as he dry-heaved. "Ssh, it's okay, you're okay." Virgil was rubbing Patton's back again and holding his hair, whispering reassurances once again. When Patton stopped gagging over the toilet, he slumped down beside it and curled his knees to his chest, crying into them. 

~ _When Patton got to his room after sinking down~_

He was on all fours, no longer having the strength to stand.  _They all hate you, they all hate you, they're better off without you._ Each sob shook Patton's body fiercely, causing him an immense amount of pain. He felt nauseous-he had an idea. He shakily crawled over to his en-suite bathroom, raising the toilet seat, he stared at the water in the bowl. Was he really about to do this? Without another thought, he shoved two of his fingers down his throat until he threw up.

Once he'd done it, the feeling was addicting. Again and again, fingers down his throat with sobs in between because it hurt, but he needed-no, deserved to hurt right now. For being a bad counterpart, for being a bad "dad", for being a bad friend. With each time he threw up, his sobs increased, getting to the point of immense pain through all of his body. 

Suddenly, he had felt a hand on his back and another holding his hair. He sort of heard someone talking to him but he couldn't hear it over the ringing in his ears. He didn't want them here but he also didn't want to push them away. He lightly shrugged them off before shoving his fingers down his throat again. He hadn't had anything to eat today, he hadn't let himself because after what he did to Logan and Roman, there was no way he deserved to eat. No way.

His stomach tensed, trying to make him realise that it was empty and had nothing left to throw up. He tried to speak to Virgil, trying to say "I can't stand their judgement." After it tensed a few times more, he slumped beside the toilet and sobbed loudly, curling tightly on himself. Patton knew all three of them were here and had guessed that Virgil was crouched next to him and attempting to comfort him.

Thinking about it made him curl tighter on himself.  _Logan and Roman were surely judging him..._ he sobbed even louder.

~

Patton had just...just started sobbing louder and we could all tell that it was hurting him. What are we supposed to do? "Virgil," Logan called, "try and move him to his bed." Virgil nodded and began whispering to Patton. "Roman," the fanciful trait looked at him, "could you fetch a glass of water and a cold cloth?" He nodded and went on his way. Logan sighed a deep breath.

Virgil rubbed Patton's back, no longer whispering, "we're gonna try and go to your bed, okay?" Patton's face held no understanding so he repeated himself, "we're gonna go to your bed, can you help me get you there?" Nodding, Patton shakily began to stand, Virgil's arms underneath his in case he fell, "that's good, now walk slowly with me." They made their way to the bed while Logan went to the bathroom to clean up.

They made it to the bed without too much hassle, Patton's knees never giving out fully, only teasing the idea. He had laid down as soon as he made it there and almost went to sleep before Virgil stopped him, "drink some water first, then you can sleep." Patton only nodded, sitting up. Surely he'd fall asleep if he continued lying down. Roman returned with a damp cloth and a tall glass of water, of which he immediately handed to Patton for him to drink. He gratefully took it and gulped almost the whole thing down at once. "Easy, Pat." Virgil had breathed out.

After he had chugged the water, he laid back down and fell immediately to sleep, his brow creased and breathing sharp and ragged. The other sides looked sadly at him, "what...what could have caused that?" Roman whispered, turning to the other two, "it could have been a multitude of things, but-" Virgil cut Logan off, "no, we all did something to cause that. I know what I did, what did you two do?" He whispered, sneering at them. They both looked to the ground, making Virgil quirk a brow, "well?"

Roman spoke up first, shamefully admitting his fault, "I...I may have called him stupid this morning...over something accidental and minuscule..." Virgil's eyes widened, about to speak before Logan spoke up as well, "and I may have sided with Roman and agreed with his statement." They both looked up at Virgil when he remained silent, only to find him fuming. He painfully grabbed both of them by their hair and dragged them out of the room.

Now they were in the commons so that Patton wouldn't have to be awoken by Virgil's wrath, "you. Did. WHAT?!" He screamed, twitching eyes quickly going back and forth between them, "how could you do that?! Even after everything he does for YOU!" He yelled, pacing circles in the floor, "you are well aware of how much that affects him! He isn't stupid! It breaks his heart every time either of you say that!" They both blinked before Roman made a weak attempt to defend himself and his pride, "well, what did you do then, Virgil?" Virgil stopped and turned to them, looking at them both with sceptical eyes. He sighed.

"I was having an attack and he came in to comfort me but I didn't want him there because, at the time, I thought he'd judge me. I know that's stupid but it's how I felt at the time and in turn, I told him to get out and that I didn't want his help." Roman stared at him blankly before pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes and dramatically falling back onto the couch, "why did we do these things that we did!" He rasped dramatically.

Shaking his head, Virgil smirked, "mine wasn't nearly as bad as yours, and I wasn't thinking straight." Logan chuckled lightly from behind him, "not that any of us ever do, considering Thomas' circumstance." Roman and Virgil both paused and looked at him, wide eyed. In unison, they both said, "did...you just make a dad joke?" Logan covered his mouth, wide eyed as well. They all laughed before stopping as they remembered their eldest and his situation. Roman stood up and straightened his clothes before speaking, "so Logan and I called him stupid and you basically told him you didn't need him...what do we do?"

Logan shook his head sadly, "let's try and think of something while he sleeps." They nodded in agreement and began brainstorming.

~

Taking deep breaths, they all went to Patton's room. Upon noticing he was still sleeping, they turned to each other. "Virgil, you wake him, you're gentle with this kind of thing," Logan whispered to Virgil who nodded, shuffling over to Patton's side before calmly waking him. Despite his calm awakening, Patton shot up into a sitting position with wide eyes. He looked around panicked, only to notice that there was no danger, only his friends. "Oh..hello everyone!" He greeted with a raspy voice.

They all silently looked him in the eyes for a moment before all saying in unison, "we're so sorry." Patton went wide-eyed with a slacked jaw, muttering a small, "p-pardon?" They all sighed before speaking one after the other, in their "universal" order. Roman went first, "I'm sorry for this morning...I got mad at you for no reason-" Patton tried to interrupt but Roman cut him off, " _no reason_ because you had apologised and it was an accident. You are most definitely not stupid, please forgive my un-princely behaviour." Before Patton could say anything else, Logan had already begun his apology speech.

He had stood up straight and fixed his tie, "and I apologise for siding with Roman and his hurtful words. It was indeed an accident which can easily be forgiven, so now I ask you to forgive me. I do agree with Roman though, you are not stupid." Patton nodded at him and turned his gaze to Virgil, who was shuffling nervously in his place. "I...um, I'm really sorry, Pat. It wasn't right for me to say that I didn't need you-" he sighed, "I knew I could have said that in a better way and I'm sorry I didn't...please, forgive me-...us?"

The three other sides stared at him as his eyes flooded over with tears, a hand over his mouth. Their eyes went wide and Virgil immediately coddled him, "are you okay? Did we say something wrong?" He rushed, panicking. Patton shook his head, removing his hand to show a...smile? "No, you...you said everything right, kiddos..." He suddenly reached forward and captured Virgil into a hug, signalling for the others to join in, smiling brightly up at them. Roman and Logan obliged and joined the group hug, hoping to stop Patton's tears.

Even if happy, it hurt their hearts to see them, so emotion-filled and bright. When they all closed in and hugged very tight, Patton whispered, "thank you all...so much." The three others laughed, pulling back. Patton looked confused, "wha-" Roman placed a finger over his lips, giving Patton a gleaming smile with bright eyes, "there's more." They nodded and lead Patton to the commons.

"Oh...my...goodness...gracious! You guys!" Patton yelled excitedly at the pillow and duvet fort, a large stack of Disney movies and assorted snacks, "this is amazing!" Logan piped up from behind him, "it was Virgil's idea. We wanted to do something nice for you as a token of our combined apology." Roman nodded, letting go of Patton's hand and did a gesture to "present" it to him, "totally! I'd never of thought that Hot Topic would ever have an idea like this!" They all turned to Virgil, who immediately looked up from his hands to blush at them.

Patton stepped towards him and lifted his chin which he had ducked (quack) down, "is this true, Virgil?" He nervously nodded, fidgeting with his hands as he furiously blushed, "y-yes...um.." he paused, finally meeting Patton's eyes, "do you...like it?" Patton laughed happily, jumping from Virgil to the center of the room. "Like it? I love it! It's so perfect, thank you all of you!" He hugged them again, smiling.

So that's how they stay, all laid down, cuddled in a heap of human watching all of the Disney movies under the sun. All were contented with their scenario, so when they all fell asleep on each other, none of them minded. Not at all. Patton was the last to fall asleep, which meant he got to look over the others, a fond smile on his face. What a perfect end to a bad day. He let himself sleep, a smile on his face long after he slipped from consciousness, basking in the warmth his counterparts provided, more than just body-heat.


	3. Song of Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear Sides, I sing you all a song of farewell...as my final goodbye.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Major Angst, TW for Suicide!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to http://definitelycanon.tumblr.com/post/145374325681/from-your-loving-brother-matsuno-karamatsu-a
> 
> A SS knock off of that ^ Also all the sides were having a sleepover in the commons.
> 
> (P.S this is what Virge plays https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR4F963ttG8 over and over)  
> (Also, I listened to this, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14TRb4w3BzY, while writing this and I even quoted it some ways down so yeah, listen to that if ya like?)
> 
> Pairing: Poly Sanders - Friendship

Virgil hadn't wanted it to have to end this way, but he now knew that there was no other way it possibly could end. He had prayed every waking moment that it wasn't going to be this way, that he'd change for them, but alas, he had failed once again. There was no going back now, this was his end... _his song farewell._

 

He perched his tenor ukulele on his thigh and took a deep breath; in and out. In his head repeat like a mantra, the same words he has scripted since his early days of birth to his present day of rest: _Remember Virgil, there are no longer any other options for you...you failed to appease them and now you must give your full effort to do so. You must not cry, this is not your day for sorrow. Now, **go**. _

All laid bare, he needn't fail now. Contrary to his very purpose, his own name. With another breath heaved from his crimson lips, swirling an intricate pattern in the crisp air around him. Re-positioning his ukulele, he began to play. 

_"Dear Sides, I sing you all a song of farewell...as my **final goodbye**._

_"I understand the suddenness of such a thing...but I can assure you this was nothing but gradual.  
For years I could only ponder_ _what it would be like...if I was **gone**...._

 _"Every answer I found would only further break...my **heart** , my  **mind**. _ ~~ **Myself**~~. ~~ _  
_~~_So much of me broken and lost...only pieces of what was trail behind me._

 _"My being, I realised, was utterly pointless...leaving only waste and poison in my wake..._  
_**Painful**...that's all I ever was..."_

Roman stirred from his slumber, blinking an eye open at the crack of dawn peering through the window. Sitting up, he took note of Virgil's absence after looking around. Patton and Logan were sleeping soundly, the credits of some Disney movie ringing in the background as white noise. Rubbing his eyes, Roman decided on waiting for Virgil because perhaps he was in the bathroom or getting a glass of water...something like that.

As minutes dripped away, Roman turned back to Virgil's makeshift bed, composed of a duvet and many pillows, only to spot a note. How curious, thought Roman, as he leaned to grab it, reading it thoroughly. Upon reading halfway through it, his mind caught onto what this note-however, now labelled "letter"-actually was. Oh no please-, Roman cried, loud sobs jogged his body as they teared their way through him.

_"I guess this is what they call... **Karma**._

_" **I**_ **_deserve this..._ **

_"With how much I failed all of you, how often I disappointed...  
It's funny, how the ones who don't deserve hate are drowned by it and the ones who do...get off easy..._

_"I bid my most sincere apologies...for failing Thomas so and all of you..."_

They all cried, mourning the new wound of their lost counterpart...no, their dearest friend, he was one of them. Roman's sobs had awoken and alerted the other two, the letter long since fallen from his trembling hands. Shoulder-to-shoulder they had read, both realising in unison what exactly they were reading. The scream that erupted itself from Patton's throat will never be forgotten.

Even Logan was sobbing his heart out. Emotions were the bane of his existence, but Virgil mattered so much to him, to all of them. Their mutual distress had woken Thomas, wrenching his heart and giving him a pounding headache. He had summoned all of them, only the three sobbing sides appearing before him, having had no energy or will to fight his power. Even if Logan had been crying, he had managed a brief explanation to Thomas and had even the note to hand him. All four sobbed, mourning their untimely loss.

_"Roman,  
_

_"Our creative star...I am so glad to call you a dear friend...and I am_  
_so sorry for not being a better one...you were always_  
_there for me and guided me out of the dark, making sure I was alright, even if I_  
_surely didn't deserve your kindness..._  
_My last advice is to not let your image of yourself and Thomas consume_  
_you...we all love you the way you are, no exceptions and in_  
_Thomas' case with your help, others will as well."_

One of their own, their youngest no-less, gone...lost forever...they all cuddled together as comfort and to be comforted. As a whole, they all needed each other right now and considering what happened to the one who they acted like they didn't need, they didn't want, no time soon would they let each other go. Individually yet together, they all felt as if they let go of anyone, even for a small second, they would simply fall away and be blown to the wind as ashes of their former self. So they held tight, sobbing their hearts out.

_"Patton,_

_"My sweet Patton! There is no better smile and sun than the ones_  
_that come from you. Even if your happiness is one of_  
_the suns that shine for all of us, it's okay to let it rain some days, you_  
_don't have to keep everything in forever, we all know that you_  
_worry too. Don't keep your negative emotions_  
_be muted by your positive ones just because no one else is positive.  
_ _We will all love and appreciate you no matter what."_

None of them knew what the future would hold for them. They all wished they had done things differently, they wished they had tried harder to listen and understand him...but now they couldn't. They had taken him for granted and now he was gone forever. As they all knew, however, this was bound to happen for many different factors, but number one was Virgil's guilt for things he didn't mean to do and was forgiven for. They now only wished that they had tried to coax him out of his guilt sooner or even at all.

  _"Logan,_

 _"You work so hard, harder than all of us combined,_  
_and you drive Thomas to work for a greater today, tomorrow and make_  
 _sure he has a great yesterday to thrive from...and I know,_  
 _that despite all your fears and worries, you will get_  
 _him, Patton, Roman and yourself through just fine, I know_  
 _that you can and I know that you are going to."_

Once separated into the mind palace and back to their individual bedrooms, each had their own full meltdown. Each one was different but had the same exterior motive. Patton screamed and sobbed, tearing the heads off his stuffed toys and curling on his side on the ground to continue sobbing. Roman cried for a while. He cried and cried until he couldn't cry. Then he paused for a while and cried some more. When he was tired of crying, he returned to his Kingdom and hunted down every single evil creature and fought them, killing every single one.

On the other hand, Logan went to his room and stood still, staring blankly. Suddenly, he raced around and found every single breakable thing he had and made sure it was broken to bits on the floor. Glass, plastic, wood, thin metal and everything in between, broken, damaged and smashed to bits. Thomas went to his room and did a combination of all three. Scream, cry, destroy and break, repeat.

_"and Thomas,_

_"I'm so proud of you._   
_I know I never showed and I'm sorry, but I_   
_really am proud. To be a facet of someone so great and_   
_to be the **one thing** that makes them scared of who they are_   
_and what they look like and...you are an idol, Thomas, who_   
_should be very proud of what they've accomplished and_   
_what they're going to accomplish. I know you can and will_   
_do great things with the help of the others and without me holding_   
_you back. God...I just..._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be strong for you, I'm sorry that_  
_I'm heightened and ruined your life. I'm sorry for all your insecurities_  
_and I'm sorry for making things to be insecure of. Without me,_  
_you are an amazing person, practically flawless._  
_But I make you worry for no reason about a little weight or a lack of_  
_height or something so minuscule. I love all of you so much and_  
_I'm sorry for loving you all so much...I'm unworthy, an idiot,_  
_and I'm a colossal failure to all of you. I know now that_  
_without me, you will all thrive, I promise you._  
_Always believe in_ _one_ _another."_

No matter how much they knew they couldn't, they wanted to have Virgil back, even if just for a second, to tell him just how wrong he is. That he's wrong about himself, wrong about what he contributes. They thought after the "Accepting Anxiety" videos, he was getting better, that he was accepting himself...but they were wrong and just blindly assumed because he told them his name...a name now only used to remember a fallen companion, "son", counterpart and dear, dear friend. 

They had no idea what the future would hold for their now aching souls, but it was nothing productive for a long time. They knew their mourning would control them until they can get over it enough to move again. Never will they ever be fully over the loss of their youngest but eventually it will push them for better, not scare them for worse. It's funny how the lack of fear makes everyone terrified but with him present, they're all at ease with a comforting "complete" feeling inside of them.

How this was going to affect Thomas as a whole was hard to determine, but negative by all means. Logically, Logan had reasoned, Thomas was now three-fourths of the man he once was and would never be the same in how he was ever again, but that doesn't mean the facet of "Anxiety" won't return. There is a very likely chance that the emotions and thoughts Virgil represented will be reborn but they will never be Virgil, never again will they have their youngest back. This new facet's name may even be "Virgil", but they won't be him. Never...

 _"As for me..._  
_I know you all will be better  
_ _without me..._

_" **I never did belong...** "_

However...no matter how discouraged they all felt and no matter how much they missed their sweet, sweet youngest, they would carry on, it was Virgil's wishes, his dying wishes. They all remember instances where Virgil had comforted them at their darkest, he was very wise and understanding, and none of them can forget his reoccurring words,

 _"Don't worry..._  
_Losing is only a sign you really tried._  
_Now, forever trade your place with the "same old_  
_me", and stop racking up the cases of who_  
_you failed to be. 'Cause why would you  
_ _replace the sky? What would you change it to?"_

Even when they had sunk to their absolute lowest and thought no one could help, Virgil was always there to understand because he was the embodiment of Thomas' "lowest". He always helped and understood, always giving them a little reassuring push in the right direction...but who was there for him when he needed someone? Someone, to help and understand, give him a little push? No one was there to understand him or even try, hence why they were where they were now. This situation could have been helped.

This thought haunted all of them. The knowledge that they could have stopped this jogged every movement they made, cried on every thought they had and it was tantalising. It hurts how they realise now how much they loved him instead of before, when it mattered.

 _"I am so sorry...  
_ _...for being the way I am..._

**_"Goodbye..."_ **

At the time, doing this had pained them, but as time passed, this had morphed into something to drive them to do better, motivate them to keep going, no matter how dark their world was and to keep them determined to make this world a better place. So now, in the center of Thomas' living room, mounted on the wall was a small black frame...when they had framed Virgil's suicide note, it made them cry and breakdown almost every time they looked at it, but now it made them smile as they remembered Virgil in his prime times.

Yes, they missed him with all their hearts, but as he said, they were capable of doing better and that when they did, it would benefit not just them, but anyone who happened to see their efforts and have it inspire them or strike their interest, even a little bit. His words never left them, his smiles and laughs trailed behind them no matter where he went and his memory kept them constantly going.

 _"Maybe one day...  
_ _we can meet again._

 _"From your fellow side and loving friend,_  
**Virgil Ann Sanders.** "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QUICK PSA!
> 
> SUICIDE ISN'T THE OPTION! Life's toughest questions don't have simple answers, and no matter what you may think and believe, dodging those questions won't make it better! It doesn't rid of that lost feeling, it only passes it onto someone else.  
> You are worth it and no matter what, you can reach out your hand and someone will come running, just let that lonely feeling wash away (I love deh). Please, keep on living, you can do amazing things and even if no one else sees them, they're still amazing.  
> Even if you don't know me, I love you and value your existence and so does someone else, even if it doesn't feel like it or they don't show. Have a great day, afternoon or night!


	4. Shut Up And Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, Logan wasn't completely...in tune with identifying his emotions, but something about Patton just seemed to send his heart racing, a strange heat to his cheeks and- "Stop thinking!" Huh? "But-" "Shut up and dance with me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Logicality is so pure. Read "That's Amore" by Inalandofmythandtimeofmagic.  
> (http://archiveofourown.org/works/10712499)
> 
> I'ma make Logicality not so pure. Fluff-to-smut, stay tuned xD  
> Also here's the song this is based on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjdIJ5ZSpSk
> 
> Pairing: Logicality

When Patton had asked Logan if he wanted to help him barbeque, this is not what he had in mind. To Logan, barbeque meant...well, a _barbeque._ Not dancing around to music as the steaks cooked in the background. He knew Patton was more than what he thought, but he never ceased to surprise him, even if it was in little ways such as hugs from behind while Logan was doing something or gifts for no reason, he always surprised him. 

It had started with Patton swaying his hips to music Logan had never heard, making Logan smile from his place above the salad bowl, preparing a salad to be paired with the steaks once finished.  _He's so cute,_ Logan thought. The swaying had then evolved into humming along quietly, grabbing Logan's attention. They all knew Thomas could sing, which meant they all could as well, but they each sounded different. They gave the voice their own...personal spin on it.

Patton's humming was soft and in-key as if he knew every word. He probably did. Logan had just stared at him for a while, an adoring look on his face that he wasn't consciously aware of. When Patton turned over and caught him staring, Logan's eyes had widened and he darted his gaze away. Patton laughed, a sound that made Logan's heart sing from joy, and winked at him, his signature radiant smile upon his face. 

As the music shuffled through, Patton seemed to feel more and more inclined to sing along, starting off softly before evolving into belting out every lyric as loud as he could, laughing and having so much...fun. That's what the feeling was, Patton makes things fun! He adds a little extra something that keeps you hooked and makes sure that nothing is ever tense or silent. Logan loved this about his boyfriend because, well, he didn't really know how to have unadulterated, carefree fun. Patton was patiently teaching him.

Now Logan couldn't keep his eyes off of Patton. The man was dancing around and screaming along to Dean Martin or someone of that sort. His dancing was...Logan wanted to say funny? It was funny yet it captivated him. Each sway of Patton's hips, tap of his foot, the way his torso turned and swayed and his arms followed suit, it was all so amazing. Part of him wanted to join him but first of all, he had no idea what song this was and second, what if he made a fool of himself? He didn't want to embarrass himself, especially not in front of Patton because what if he messed something up or broke something? There was no way Logan was even going to try.

Yeah, fun was Patton's thing, not his. He was knowledge, logic and a good grade...that's it. Besides, he could watch Patton all day. Even if he was dancing, Patton still managed to check and move the steaks accordingly, as if it was nothing! No one gave him enough credit, not nearly enough. So as he watched Patton, his heart and mind fell more in love with the silly, dancing man.

"Logan!" Patton shouting his name broke him from his thoughts, "yes?" Patton danced over to him and offered a hand, "may I have this dance?" Logan's eyes widened, hadn't he settled on  _not_ dancing? Yes, yes he had, but if so, why did every fibre of his being want to accept? "I...um, but-uh..." Logan couldn't find the words, trying to think of an excuse. It's not that he didn't want to dance, it's that he couldn't, he didn't know how because he wasn't like Patton and-

Laughter from Patton tore Logan from his thoughts, wide eyes widening further. He...took his arm, Logan didn't know how it happened. Patton dragged him from his spot at the salad table, smiling ever-so wide. Logan kept looking back to his spot, seeing some stuff knocked over...had he done that? They took the "floor" and Patton said, turning Logan's face towards him with his free hand, "don't you dare look back, just keep your eyes on me." Logan locked eyes with him, wide-eyes staring into longing ones. "You're holding back-" Patton cut him off. Laughing, he said, "shut up and dance with me!" 

Smiling wide, Patton began to dance.  _This man is my destiny,_ Logan thought as he began to try and dance along. He didn't move too much, just light swaying as Patton had earlier. Looking back to his boyfriend, when had Patton taken his cardigan off? It had been moved from his natural place on his shoulders to a chair near the barbeque. For some reason, he had also undone the second button on his polo, showing off more of his chest. Logan never knew how much he wanted to see him like that until now.

Logan felt a strange tug in his chest when he locked eyes with Patton, as if he'd been shot with a bullet of...longing, as cheesy as that sounds. His dancing started to become less and less stiff the longer he held Patton's gaze. "Um..Patton? Shouldn't we get back to-" Patton suddenly spun him around and dipped him, a suave look on his face-where had his glasses gone?! He leaned the rest of the way down and placed a deep kiss on Logan's lips, pulling back too soon. "Lo..." he spoke lowly, "shut up and dance with me." 

Taking a deep breath, Logan lets Patton lift him back up and start to dance with him, glasses somehow back on his face. Logan started to move with Patton as they danced around together, Patton laughing every time they stumbled, making Logan smile along. Slowly but surely, their combined movements became more fluid, feeling more natural to the both of them. 

This was more fun than Logan had initially thought it was and easier than he thought it'd be. He may have fallen victim to unconscious cognitive distortion, only in his own personal skills and abilities. He looked up from his feet, where he had fixed his eyes to prevent Patton making him more...nervous? Flustered? He couldn't place his finger on it. When Logan met Patton's eyes, realisation struck through his whole body. Deep in Patton's eyes, he sees an idea. Deep in Patton's eyes, he thinks he sees...a future. One much happier than he previously thought for himself. What if this is his last chance? He can't let Patton escape him, not now, not ever!

Following every urge his body is throwing at him, he lunges forward to capture Patton's lips into a loving kiss. Patton's eyes widen at the sudden kiss but he quickly kisses back. Logan's hands begin to roam all over his body and vice versa, soon they're no longer standing and instead, Logan is straddling Patton's hips while Patton has his hands resting on Logan's hips underneath his shirt. Logan leans down to nip at a sensitive part of his neck and Patton bites his lip to stifle a moan.

Smirking, Logan bent down again to try and nip his neck again but Patton leaned up and met his lips in a heated kiss, loosening his tie while doing so. When it was loose enough, Patton abandoned Logan's lips to suck and nip on his lover's extremely sensitive neck. As soon as Patton's lips met Logan's neck, the latter let out a quiet moan. As Patton continued his venture, Logan's hips began to grind down onto his clothed crotch. Over and over he did so, making the former very aware of their mutual erections.

Patton stripped Logan of his shirt and jeans, doing the same for himself as well, leaving them two horny men in their boxers. Leaning forward, Patton marked Logan's torso up and down, no spot forgotten. When Logan was clearly craving to be touched _elsewhere_ , Patton removed his boxers and unclothed his own erection, proceeding to spit on his hands for makeshift lube. He quickly slicked himself up before meeting Logan's eyes, "you ready?" He asked and Logan only nodded, unable to speak.

Chuckling quietly, he placed a delicate kiss on each side of Logan's shoulders before slowly inserting himself into Logan's hole, no stretch as he knew his boyfriend liked. Once he was fully inside, he clasped a hand on the base of Logan's erection, pumping in time with his slow thrusts. Before he knew it, Logan was riding him like he was born for it, moving faster so Patton would quicken his pace he was pumping him with.

Looking up, Patton noticed Logan's face. His brows were knit and he was biting his lip so hard, Patton feared he'd draw blood. Although, he did recognise this face. "Let go, Lo," he spoke with a raspy voice, "let go for me, baby." With those words, a loud, raspy moan sounded from Logan as he rode out his orgasm. Not long after, Patton let go himself, moaning loudly as he too rode out his orgasm. They collapsed onto each other, laying out on the patio.  _Another place for the ever-growing list,_ Patton thought, smug.

He moved Logan off of him, gently laying him on the floor as he went over to the table where Logan  _was_ making some salad to grab some paper towel, cleaning himself and Logan up. Well, enough for them to get redressed so they can go shower. "Lo, get up, babe." Patton hummed, nudging him with his foot, "you can't stay here, naked, on the patio." Logan snapped his eyes open and sat up quickly, looking around, "the steaks, Pat!" Patton's own eyes widened as he rushed to the barbeque, eyeing the now burnt steaks.

Sighing, he turned back to a now dressed Logan, "looks like we're having Mac 'n' Cheese for dinner..." Logan looked at him, deadpanned, before bursting out in laughter. Patton's eyes widened. It was ever rare that Logan laughed, let alone full-belly laughed like he was now. Patton found himself joining in, finding his clothes and putting them on before running over to Logan to pick him up in a tight hug. "I love you very, very much, you know that?" He said, watching as Logan smiled, "I love you too, Pat."

~

After they went back inside and announced that they were no longer having steak for dinner, they were faced with an angry Virgil and a suspicious Roman. "What do you mean 'the steaks are burnt'?! How did you burn the steaks!" Virgil had shouted at them while Roman had given them a suspicious look. Logan had locked eyes with Roman, who quirked a brow to which Logan nodded with a smirk on his face.

They both laughed out loud at the look on Roman's face, it was indescribable. Virgil looked between them, and by the look on Roman's face and the looks on Patton and Logan, Virgil caught on and his face morphed to mirror Roman's. "You seriously...burnt the succulent, juicy, delicious steaks...over having  _sex...on the patio_?!" They had never seen Virgil this angry, though the excessive blush on his face dimmed down the vice tone of his voice. "Yes...it appears we did?" Logan said, eyeing Virgil, confused.

Virgil's eye  _twitched,_ his eye actually twitched. Roman took notice of the stiffness of Virgil's shoulders, his white-knuckle clenched fists and his heavy, raspy breathing, looking Patton and Logan in the eyes before mouthing "run". They jerkily nodded before turning on their heels and running, scared shitless at the heavy footfalls behind them, chasing after them. A yell then sound through the mindscape, practically shaking the walls, "I AM GOING TO KILL BOTH OF YOU!" 

Never once did they look back or stop running, fearing that the enragement child behind them would catch them and beat them to a pulp. "Every man for himself!" Logan yelled before going the opposite direction from Patton, "LOGAN WHY!" Patton shouted as Virgil followed him wherever he was going, probably catching on to the fact that Patton topped Logan, instigating the sex.

Why, for the love of puppies, kittens and cute little babies, did he think it was a good idea to do that. As much as he loved Logan, the wrath of Virgil was something no one ever wanted to deal with, especially when he was hungry. Kid could go from exhausted to full energy to chase you until he caught you. There was no way Patton was going to get out of this one uninjured, no one ever did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES, they are doing it on a backyard patio. Don't ask me where Ro and Virgil are at this time because I honestly couldn't tell you...let's just hope they aren't within seeing or hearing distance


	5. Vent Fic - "Argument"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vent fic based on how my life is going right now. I'm ready to lock myself in my room and never come out and it's only the start of the second week of school.
> 
> Sorry Virgil for using you as my vent-bot.
> 
> Pairing: Background Logicality : Boyfriends.

"What is your _point_ , Virgil?! What are you _trying_ to _prove_?!" Logan shouted, adjusting himself from laying on his stomach to sit and face his body towards Virgil, who was standing halfway across the room, "my _point_ is-" "WHAT?! What is your point that could _possibly_ be so important to keep this argument going for," he glanced briefly at the clock on the wall, "15 minutes?!" Virgil scoffed, shouting back, "Oh fucking _right_ , it's been 5 minutes, MAX!" Logan's eyes were angry, very angry.

Pointing an accusatory finger at Logan, Virgil continued shouting, "my _point_ is that I haven't-" "You're _wasting my time_! Tell me your point, the one that is trying to prove me wrong when you KNOW I'm right!" Virgil fumed, sharply inhaling, "I would tell you my fucking point if you stopped _interrupting me_! Like you've been doing _this whole time_!" Logan glared back at him, "go ahead! Tell me then, Virgil!" He shifted his feet, his body practically shaking with rage, "my point is that YOU are trying to tell me to not stand in front of your stuff but ALSO not to talk across from someone but in order to stand-" his voice cut off as stray tears trailed down his cheeks.

"Stand AWAY from your _thing_ I have to stand over HERE," he pointed angrily in front of himself, "thus interrupting Patton as he lies down there!" He pointed to the other part of the sofa that Logan wasn't occupying, usually where Patton would lay down, head next to Logan's when they were having their daily movie night. "Where's your damn _"social etiquette"_ now?!" Logan looked at him with an expression of pure ire, taking a baffled deep breath and gesturing his hands around before maintaining eye-contact again. 

He pointed angrily at Virgil, "you can stand over _here_ , Virgil!" Virgil's face moulded into confused anger, "that IS what I do!" "Then _why_ are you still arguing with me?!" Virgil pointed back at Logan, not really knowing what to do with his left hand as his right hand wiped stray tears from his cheeks, "because you are ACCUSING me of never doing that! You said I ALWAYS stand in your way when I do not!" Logan's face mirrored Virgil's previous angry confusion, "I never said that!" "YOU DID!"

Logan clenched and unclenched his fists before continuing, "I did _not_! I said that 'you've been standing in front a lot as of late' but I never said you never stand out of the way!" Well, Virgil thought he had, so... "Stop trying to prove me _wrong_ when I know I am _right_!" " **It's called miscommunication**!" Virgil shouted as loud as he could, drinking in Logan's enraged expression as he returned to his laying down position with his book, "you're smart, you know the meaning of that word, right?!" Logan huffed a small, angry breath.

Virgil stormed to his room, putting on his headphones and blasting the heaviest MCR songs he could think of at full volume. Suddenly, he was struck with this energy that wouldn't let his sit still, so he headed to the bathroom to...brush his teeth? At 5:30(pm)? Wait, where was his toothpaste? He shuffled through some stuff, his toothpaste nowhere to be seen, the only remaining one being...kids mint?! No, there was no way he was using that stuff! Where's the burn? The cold feeling when you breathe in?

Despite his hate for the stuff, Logan had pointed out earlier (before Virgil pissed him off) that he needed to brush his teeth, him not having time this morning apparently very noticeable. Putting the disgusting toothpaste on his toothbrush, he looked his mirror-self in the eyes, whispering to himself, light tears still in his eyes. "Big kids don't _cry_ , you should know that by now." He lightly cringed at the taste in his mouth, thinking beratingly to himself. "Considering that you DID cry, you know what that _makes you_?"

Spitting out the toothpaste, he looked up and locked eyes with his mirror-self, saying aloud, "a weak person." He put his toothbrush away and put soap on his hands, intending to wash them for some reason, "and weak people do _not_ belong with strong people. You don't belong, you're not _like_ them." He was too lazy for warm up the water so he just went full cold, "not that they care anyway, they never cared." He sadly laughed, that much was true... "Nothing you've ever done or said has held any value to them," he dried his hands and walked to the kitchen, thankfully no one was there, "you should just close your mouth."

With no reason to actually be in here, he wandered around, fiddling with stuff while he whispered, "'I don't care' gets dropped on the daily, because you're a great listener but never..." he sighed, "never listened to. Sure, I'm _heard_ , but I want to be _listened to_." He decided he was done with the kitchen and wandered back to the bathroom, walking past the Commons while doing so, Logan still laying there while not even lifting his head when Virgil walked by. This made Virgil walk faster to the bathroom.

Looking himself in the eye once again, he continued berating himself, "you should just shut your mouth for _good_. The only time anyone ever wants you to open your mouth is when it benefits THEM." He lifted his hand to wipe his eyes, tears renewing the dried trails on his face, "and when they yell at you or say 'I don't care', just  _pretend_ that you haven't had the worst week of your life, hating yourself and everyone around you every step of the way because there are another _thousand_ people ALL around you. Just smile and nod and listen because it's all your good for and no one cares if you do otherwise." He turned away from the mirror and left.

"You should just kill yourself now, before one of them  _decides_ that they actually care."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like shouting in an angry sense and I hate social anxiety and school as a combination even more. I don't want "wished for death 24/7" to be how I remember this year.


	6. Laughter is the Best Medicine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have an obnoxious, snorty, cackle sort of laugh and it's the weirdest thing. Unlike Virgil, however, I am not that ashamed because I love to laugh. It's worth the weird, horrified looks from bypassers.
> 
>  
> 
> Pairing: Poly Sanders : Friendship/Platonic.

Movie night. This was an ongoing tradition between the original sides. Before they had begun to make an effort to accept Virgil and make him feel included, he had never been invited to one before. Not that he really cared, of course not! He could just watch the movie in his room, alone, by himself. Okay, it bothered him a lot, hearing the hum of a movie and the laughs and voices of the others from just down the hall, it was as if he was smacked in the face by the realisation of how lonely he truly was.

However, since the effort was made to include him, he'd been attending more group activities and such. A common thing among the others was "themed movie nights", which until now, he had yet to be a part of. Virgil fidgeted and took deep breaths, he had never had a movie night before, what if...what if he screwed it up? He was torn between heart-wrenching dread and jittery excitement. When Patton had shown up at his door asking if he wanted to join them, he had choked on his own breath, muttering a "what?"

"Virgil, come sit!" Patton's voice pulled him from his train of thought as he stood next to the couch, shifting awkwardly with his fingers pulling on his drawstrings. He made his way over to the couch, sitting stiffly against the arm of it. "What's the theme tonight, Pat?" Roman asked, turning to look at Patton, who had a beaming smile upon his lips, "tonight's theme is one of my favourites!" They all looked at him, quirking a brow, "comedy!" Roman cheered, Logan smiled, saying a small "satisfactory", but Virgil stiffened. Comedy? Comedy meant...laughing and stuff, right? Virgil didn't want to laugh, they wouldn't want him to either. That is if they knew what his laugh sounded like.

Patton set the snacks and drinks down on the coffee table before pressing play. Virgil then decided that he did not like this and really wanted to leave. He was having so much fun with them as of late and lest this end too soon or at all. Virgil didn't want to ruin this for himself, he was loving feeling so...accepted, wanted, needed, as of late.

~

Okay, he couldn't continue this. Patton, Roman and even Logan were laughing harder than he'd ever seen them, hunching over in laughter and clutching their stomachs. Virgil, however, was trying his hardest not to laugh. The thing is, while Patton, Roman and Logan all have unique, melodic laughs, Virgil has the ugliest laugh. It's obnoxious, he snorts while he laughs and it's an actual cackle of a laugh. Needless to say, he despised his own laugh more than anything else about himself.

God forbid the other sides ever hear his horrible laugh. Hence why he's been straining himself so hard for them not to hear it, he's actually shaking now from the amount of effort he has to put in for his laugh to be a short chuckle at most. It hurt a lot, but as much as he wanted to laugh until he pissed at the movie he doesn't know the name of, he won't let himself. If he doesn't like his laugh, they won't either.

Roman, however, noticed that he wasn't laughing for them to hear. "Virgil, why aren't you laughing? This is hilarious!" Virgil looked at him, trying to hide the pain in his eyes, "I...um.." Patton and Logan also turned to him, confusion in their eyes, mirroring Roman's. "Are you not enjoying yourself, Virgil?" Logan asked, looking at him with a quirked brow, "yeah, we can change it if you don't like it, kiddo! You just have to ask!" Virgil shook his head, "i-it's not that."

They all looked at him expectantly while he only fidgeted. "What is it, kiddo?" Patton said before Logan stuck up his index finger, "I believe Virgil may still be having some..doubts." Patton's eyes widened, "doubts?! Oh, you poor thing!...what kind of doubts?" Logan looked at Virgil who rushed to look away when they made eye contact, "our acceptance towards him. Though this is merely a hypothesis, correct me if I'm wrong in any way, Virgil." When Virgil didn't say anything, Logan simply nodded, proud of his deduction given his lack of proper evidence.

The pressure of all their eyes on him at once was becoming too much. What does Virgil have to say to get them to stop...staring at him? "I...uh..." Virgil couldn't seem to find words to express himself. It was pain that didn't physically hurt, a theoretical rock on his chest that was blocking most oxygen from entering his lungs, he didn't even trust his own voice if he could find the words. The fear that these three would judge and abandon him once they saw his weakness and how easy it was for him to collapse on himself or into said fear.

Virgil would thank him later for it, but Patton noticed his shortening breath, "whoa, guys hush for a moment. Virgil, kiddo, breathe with me, just like you told Thomas. Breathe in for four seconds," Virgil follow Patton as he did so, albeit shakily, "hold your breath for seven seconds," he could feel his racing heart calming down, even if just a bit, "now breathe out for eight seconds," oh, that felt so much easier now, "okay, now do that for however many times you need, no pressure." Virgil calmed himself down until the weight of their stares didn't seem so heavy.

Patton put a gentle hand on his shoulder, "what's eating ya', kiddo?" Virgil looked between the three of them, debating whether to say anything or keep his mouth shut, "well..." However, their patient eyes and welcoming positions made it practically impossible for him not to tell them, "I have a..." He took a deep breath, "I have a really ugly laugh..." He muttered the last part, almost inaudible. By the looks of it, Patton and Logan didn't hear him, but Roman did. "Really? That's the reason you weren't laughing?" Virgil involuntary flinched, quickly spewing out, "I know it's stupid but-"

Realising what he said, Roman quickly shook his hands in the air, "oh, dear goodness, no that came out not how I wanted it to. It's not stupid but..." He took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking Virgil in the eyes, "why do you feel that way?" Virgil huffed strongly, "because it's true! All of your laughs are contagious and a sound you would love to hear again. Mine..." He paused, "mine's annoying. It's too loud, I freaking snort, and I sound like...like a crow! It's not a nice sound and you'd never want to hear it again. It's..." He looked at them, not seeing their current faces but the ones they make whilst laughing, beautiful despite their lack of control, "the laughter of someone who isn't familiar with laughing...it's a reminder." 

The hand on his shoulder clenched a little bit as Patton said, "a reminder?" Virgil sighed sadly, "in my time of existence, which is considerably shorter than you three, I haven't really been familiar with laughing or I'd never allowed myself to because...I didn't feel I deserved it. This made my laugh become changed, strained because is how little it was used, making it sound strange and...strained. Even if I told it to all of you that I was, I wasn't actually incapable of laughter, I just...didn't, wouldn't let myself." Patton's eyes were so sad whilst looking at him. 

"It's funny, actually. The first time I had heard my own laugh in...years, maybe, I was so scared and shocked that it sounded so terrible. I was on Tumblr and saw something funny so I laughed and I actually cried because I hated it so much. If that gives you any insight as to why I didn't blame you for not befriending me sooner or hating me, this is one of the many examples." Patton looked as though he was about to protest but stopped himself, probably deciding that Virgil wouldn't believe him anyway, which was very true.

To Virgil's surprise, Logan spoke up, "I highly doubt we'll "hate" your laugh as you do, seeing as that is the case with many of your insecurities. You haven't even given us a chance to hear it yet, might I add." Looking between the three of them, Virgil sighed again, "that's the whole point..." Patton moved his hand from Virgil's shoulder to lift his chin, looking him straight in the eyes. "Despite what you may end up thinking, we will never hate you or disown you because you opened up to us, that would be unfair to you. We love everything we know about you and everything you'll tell us. They're endearing qualities."

Roman piped up, adding to Patton's "speech", "absolutely! The most we'll do is laugh in good-nature or lightly poke friendly fun! What do you think we're going to do? Shut you out and never talk to you again because we didn't like your  _laugh_?" Virgil fake laughed with no humour, "too close to home there, Prince." Roman's face flushed and he muttered a, "oh...right, um...sorry?" Making Virgil chuckle cynically, laughing as he usually did. Patton and Logan looked at him sadly while Roman tried to rid himself of a blush.

"Look, we know you don't like your laugh but trust us, you can let go. This a very accepting environment." Their mutual prompting looks and patient eyes made it almost impossible to say no. They cared, or at least he hoped they did. Virgil took a breath, giving himself his own mental pep-talk before looking between their eyes, "okay."

Smiling very wide, Patton ran to resume the movie, Roman and Logan going back to find their spots. Once the movie resumed, the other three went right back to laughing their pants off while Virgil slowly eased into letting out more than a cynical chuckle. As that one movie progressed, Virgil started laughing more and more, louder and louder. He was starting to get more comfortable.

When that movie ended, Patton wiped his laughter-induced tears and put on the next one, making Virgil's eyes widen; it was his favourite comedy movie. He found himself easing more into the idea of laughing when he was seriously fond of the movie making him do so. Virgil watched as Patton winked at him while he sat back down, knowing full-well how much Virgil loved this movie. With a warm feeling in his chest, he smiled back at Patton, watching with amazement as Patton's smile somehow widened and brightened to a whole new extent.

As the movie progressed, Virgil's laugh gained more and more volume, got more wholehearted and even made the others smile from their places on the couch. Finally, Virgil's favourite line in the entire movie played, and even if he's heard it a thousand times, he couldn't handle himself as he broke out into an unmasked, uncontrolled, full-belly laughter, making the three other sides turn their heads as his laughter echoed around the room. Their stares didn't affect him, however, as he was too engrossed in the laughter-filled moment. The others joined in because Virgil's laugh was so contagious, more-so than Patton's!

That wasn't the only positive adjective they could use, there were an unlimited amount of words that still wouldn't begin to do justice. They could use "beautiful", "harmonic", "contagious", "cute", "suitable" or "well-fitted", "amazing" and by far the most fitting, "Virgil". The laugh was just so Virgil that it blew all of them away because it as so extraordinary! The way he snorted and laughed like there was no tomorrow, it was almost impossible not to laugh along, even if you did get it.

Patton, Roman and Logan watched him as they laughed along, taking in how he hunched on himself and covered his mouth, trying but failing to shield the beaming, sunshine bright smile that was plastered from ear to ear. His hair fell into his face more than usual and his cheeks were bright pink, even through the foundation, which was coming off because he was rubbing it with his hands, or more accurately: sweater-paws.

When Virgil's laughter died into giggles, he turned to look at the three of them, masked worry in his eyes, silently asking them for their judgement. They stayed silent for a moment before Patton squealed loudly, making Virgil flinch. "AH! I love your laugh so much, kiddo! It's so cute and awesome and-contagious! Oh my goodness, it is so contagious! Most of all though, it's just so..." He paused, thinking, "Virgil! It suits you well. An amazing, cute lil' laugh for an amazing, cute lil' kiddo!" Virgil's face grew hot and he put his sweater-paws to his mouth, covering his face and muttering a small, "thank you.."

Logan piped up from beside Patton, "I do agree with Patton, and might I dare say that your laugh may be more contagious than Patton's." Patton turned to Logan, a baffled look on his face, "my laugh's contagious? I didn't know that!" Roman now had his turn to speak, taking longer because of the shock of Virgil's laugh still blocking some thoughts, "Logan is right, your laugh is...outstanding. I've never heard you laugh before, Hot Topic, but I think happiness looks good on you." Virgil's eyes widened and he looked between the three of them, utterly flattered by their words.

Suddenly, arms wrapped around Virgil's waist and a head buried itself in his chest. "We love you, kiddo, and we wish you all the happiness in the world." His eyes welled up with tears, but like once in a blue moon, his tears were not evoked by that of sadness...but by that of love and happiness. Roman and Logan came in and hugged him as well, leaving him enclosed in a large heap of person, being hugged like he'd drift away if they let go.  _Yeah,_ Virgil thought,  _happiness may just be my colour, maybe I can pull it off?_ He hugged them back with just as much passion, closing his eyes and smiling.

~

Virgil knew that he'd waited far too long to open up with them, he was very much aware. He was scared before, terrified of simply  _what they would think._ However, he had now been taught--no, he'd been  _shown_ that he too could be open up and not be judged. He would be  _perceived,_ not judged, for they would use their new knowledge to create a more accurate vision of Virgil in their minds and help to try and understand him more. Now that he felt just that much more comfortable, their opinions didn't frighten him anymore. In fact, he enjoyed their opinion because it gave him some insight to how their brain worked and saw things.

He knew that this was a start, that he could base all of his further..."opening up"s from this one, as this was a very solid baseline. As much as certain attributes his fellow sides possess annoy him beyond all means, they also are the reason he's made it this far. Their persistence, stubbornness and "sunshine" nature have helped him open up and even keep going when they "hated him". He was very grateful for them, all of them. Virgil loved them so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I laughed really loudly in school because my friends were being jackasses and everyone was staring at me while I bellowed like a donkey. And yeah, the weight of their stares (because I knew they were looking at me) was like two small rocks on my shoulders, laughing still felt good. Stay safe kiddos!


	7. Vent Fic - Unthankful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Human Sides au teenage Virgil who is depressed, anxious and semi-suicidal.
> 
> Major Trigger Warning: Self-Harm.  
> Trigger Warning: Self-Hate, Suicide Mention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe kiddos!

Virgil sat in the bathroom, door locked and curtains drawn closed. His body vigorously trembled, twitching violently every now and then. His hands harshly gripped his hair at the roots and his eyes were wide and unseeing, lost in the oblivion of his own thoughts. The cuts on his thighs and torso buzzed with a warmth that merely acted as a tether to reality. Despite his mostly unmoving nature on the outside, his heart pounded in his ears and he didn’t think he’d be able to hear anything else if he tried. Worst of all, his mind wouldn’t stop shouting at him!

For hours now, his train of thought hadn’t differed in any way and he knew it wouldn’t for a long while going forward. His lip was bleeding down his chin from biting it raw, he held in his hands fistfuls of hair he’d torn from his scalp and he couldn’t feel his hands or his toes. If he was honest, Virgil had no idea why his hands and feet had gone numb from a mysterious cold. The bathroom was a warmer temperature so it made no sense for any parts of him to be frozen. _Maybe it’s the cold from my heart and mind, seeping through my body,_ he playfully thought to himself, remaining unable to smirk on the outside. Virgil just wanted a distraction, however brief it may be.

The playful moment passed quickly, almost as though it hadn’t even been there. He honestly thought it hadn’t. Tears poured free from his eyes, it surprised Virgil how much he could cry. He’d been like this for hours now, maybe a day, unmoved from his spot. More tears seeped out as he flinched violently, dark thoughts coming back for round three hundred and forty-five. For the first time in hours, Virgil moved. He moved his left hand from his hair and reached down to the ground next to him to grab his shiny weapon. With very shaky hands, he held it up to his thigh and made several more cuts. Relief washed over him for a brief moment, a shaky but soft sigh slipping through his slightly parted lips.

However, the slow, calculated movements of him slicing the skin of his thigh became less calculated and more violent and harsh when he remembered why he was cutting himself. _You’re cutting yourself because you’re that privileged, able-bodied white kid who has the audacity to feel sad and depressed._ His hand twitched mid-cut, causing his hand to slip and for him to go a little deeper than previously intended. Blood dotted along the cut, some places dripping down the expanse of his thigh and onto the tile floor.

This caused him to smile, not a big, happy smile, not by any means, but rather a sardonic smile. Virgil acknowledged that he’d cut deeper than intended, and while he wouldn’t do it again, it had felt nice. His smile slipped into a frown in an instant and he got back to cutting, faster this time. _You’re so spoiled, a brat. You have everything set for you and you still feel sad?! How pathetic, how absolutely revolting. And to think that more times than not, you’ve actually contemplated suicide! You spoiled waste, you greedy, self-obsessed piece of trash, how **dare** you. _Tears came faster now, completely obscuring his vision.

The razor fell from his fingers and his hand found its way back to his thick hair, pulling harder than before. His dark thoughts, however, hadn’t noticed the change, they just kept coming, harsh as ever. _Honestly! What loser has the audacity to want death in this day and age? You worthless thing, you have been supplied a sturdy roof over your head, a warm place to sleep at night, delicious food on the table and comfortable clothes on your back._ None of this is new information, however, he’s made it clear that he knows all these things…hence the reason he has his razor and sixty-one fresh scars littering his right thigh.

 _There are children your age who would literally murder, **kill** to be in the place you are right now because they have none of these things and yet you want to die? Talk about ungrateful! _He began biting his lip again, hating the way the metallic taste spread across his tongue but needing pain all the same. His hands were too shaky and twitchy to cut so why not bite? _You’re pathetic and you know it, nothing anyone says will ever mean otherwise. You’re unlovable, honestly, who would want to accompany an ungrateful, unthankful, disgraceful human scum such as yourself?_ Virgil let a sob erupt from his throat, only one before quieting himself again.

What right did he harbour to be allowed to feel this way? None, he doesn’t deserve to feel this way, he has nothing wrong with his life. Sure, rude comments are made at school every now and again but that isn’t something uncommon and it didn’t mean he was allowed to feel this way. After 45 minutes more of this pain, self-torture, hair loss and blood loss and more, his emotions began to clear up, leaving him his usual hollow shell. He stood and turned on the shower, needing to clean the wounds to avoid infection.

Virgil may be a cutter but he’s a cutter who has some training in first aid and self-care. There was something oddly satisfying about the excess blood running with the water down his leg and into the drain. When he stepped out of the shower, he sat in his boxers for a while, waiting for the cuts to scab over. He slipped on his jogging pants and oversized hoodie and stepped out of the bathroom, face completely void of emotion. This is how it was and this is how it’d stay, he _deserved_ this.


	8. Nowhere Else I'd Rather Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Human Sides AU  
> After a long day, the tired boyfriends come home and decide to lighten the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legit porn with no plot I just wanted smut.
> 
> Pairing: Polysanders/LAMP - Definitely Romantic.

It started with a quick peck on the cheek. That peck soon reached lips for a kiss. A quick kiss quickly grew more and more heated and soon got them to where they were now. Hands roaming over unclothed skin and lips trailing not far behind. Quiet sighs that had morphed into lewd noises that sent blood rushing to all the right places. Flushed, warm skin and absolutely crimson lips made hearts melt and sing. There was no place they'd rather be than here, in this moment with each other. There's nothing they'd want more.

One of their combined favourite things about this was taking turns. Currently, Patton was straddling Logan's hips while kissing his bare chest, grinding down onto his clothed erection. Virgil was going after Logan's neck while Roman's hands roamed all over his pale body. Patton ground down particularly hard and Logan couldn't help the sound that escaped him, "ooh, Pat, hnn..." Smirking, Patton tapped Virgil's shoulder to signal him to stop so he could unclothe himself and Logan. Virgil had nodded and roughly turned to Roman, capturing his lips and doing down on him, making Roman hum.

When Logan and Patton were left in only their boxers, as Roman and Virgil already were, they returned to their position from before. That is until Roman pulled Virgil away so he could have a turn with Logan. Virgil simply moved to accommodate and grabbed Patton's chin and gently pulled his face from Logan's chest, kissing him with a fiery passion. Patton ground down onto Logan's hips again and he moaned out, breaking his and Roman's kiss for a moment, "aah," Patton smirked, breaking his kiss with Virgil so he could remove his and Logan's boxers.

Once removed, Patton carefully positioned himself over Logan's length and inserted it inside of himself. Both Patton and Logan moaned together, a stammer of each other's names and incoherent sounds. Virgil reached for Patton's dick as soon as he bottomed out on Logan's hips, pumping it in time with the others thrusting pace. Roman deepened their kiss and his hands began to roam the expanse of Virgil's body again. Virgil's free hand did the same, taking in every ridge of Roman's sculpted muscles.

Virgil knew he wasn't the skinniest of people, he was well aware and well insecure about it. Somehow, Patton's "dad-bod" was one of the most attractive things Virgil has ever seen, even with the stretch marks, puppy-like belly and love-handles that they all adored so much, yet he was one to be insecure about his own stomach and hips. However, as Roman's hands gripped and squeezed everything they could, rubbing his hands delicately over his belly and pinching the fat there, Virgil knew that Roman loved him anyway.

It was a funny story actually, how Roman had one day admitted that Patton and Virgil's slightly chubby bellies turned him on because it showed him they were healthy. Surprisingly, Roman loved to cook and he loved to watch them eat, Patton's chubby cheeks covered in food because he was a messy eater and Virgil making these inappropriate sounds and moaning about how good the food was made Roman very happy...but also very horny because he loved their bodies so much. He had also proclaimed in the sweetest way that he loved Logan's body, whom of which was actually insecure. He was naturally skinny and lanky, so among the other three, he stood out, being tallest.

Logan had gotten all shy and flustered, asking Roman why and suddenly being picked up by his bum and placed on Roman's shoulder. "Because then I can do that!" Roman said, smiling brightly at how Logan's eyes widened and he'd rushed out a stammered, "put me down!" Patton was a personal fan of tracing every crevice on Logan's torso, delicately mapping the plane of Logan's chest, tracing along visible collar bones and waving over every ribs edge. Patton did the same with Roman's muscles, every crevice was marked.

That train of thought was broken, however, by Roman moaning through their kiss, "ha, ha, Pat, ooh..." Virgil looked down to see Patton's hand on Roman's hardened erection, working his magic. Everyone was thoroughly surprised when Patton had shown them how kinky he was and how skilled he was with his hands and body. He knew exactly what he was doing. Virgil's eyes went over to Logan, who was dazed, flushed crimson and panting heavily, some drool dripping from the corner of his mouth. He also noticed the sticky substance (he knew exactly what it was) all over his lower abdomen. Patton had removed himself from riding Logan.

With a whistle, he gained Patton's attention and gestured to his cock and then to his mouth. Patton nodded eagerly, hunger, lust-filled heart metaphorically in his eyes. They had now switched their position significantly, Virgil with all of Patton in his mouth, Patton and Roman passionately making out while Patton jerked Roman off and Logan had decided to take to jerking Virgil's own untouched length. He let out a loud moan over Patton's dick, "Lo-ooh-gann-hah.." The warm air made Patton moan out too, "hnn..Vi, ooh, so good.."

When Patton took to massaging Roman's balls, the room got louder. Roman was, second to Virgil, the second loudest out of them. Virgil may seem quiet but when you got him going, he screamed like a mother fu- "OH! Pat, Pat, hah, oh my-ah, aah, AH!" Roman's shoulders tensed as he rode out his orgasm. This was far more vanilla than they usually went, a whole closet of toys just waiting for next times use. As soon as Roman came, Patton did too, right in Virgil's mouth, "Vi, Ro, Lo, oh my gOD AAH!" Virgil swallowed and licked his lips.

Seeing as Virgil hadn't cum yet (he was very close), all three took to help him. Logan was still pumping his dick, but Roman was kissing his neck and Patton was massaging his nipples. It took about two seconds of this treatment for him to cum and he stayed true to his name as a screamer, loudly moaning out, "OH MY GOD! AH, AH, HAAH!" He came on Logan's hand and Patton's thigh, laying back onto Roman's chest as he was spent. Logan and Patton stood up to go get cleaning supplies while Roman and Virgil sat in a post-orgasm haze.

This was by far their favourite thing. Intimate time shared between four people, all helping one another reach an end goal. Yeah, they thought in unison, nowhere else I'd rather be than in the delicate hands of my loving boyfriends.


	9. The Bad Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on "The Bad Guy (Reprise)" from The Ultimate Storytime.

Tears blurred Virgil's vision as his hands tugged on fistfuls of his hair, distantly hearing voices as though they were at the end of a tunnel. It appears they were calling his name? That was his best guess at this point. "Virgil? Virgil, can you hear me kiddo?" Logan put a hand on Patton's shoulder, "I don't think he can, we just have to wait." The pain on Patton's face at that comment almost matched Virgil's, Logan couldn't stand those sad eyes so he pulled Patton into a hug, albeit a little stiff on his end. The other began softly crying.

Roman was sitting on the floor silently, staring directly at Virgil, who was curled in the corner, sitting on the ground. Roman had planted himself opposite him, staring at him sadly. Logan sighed sadly, shifting to sit on the floor with Patton in his arms. It was like this almost every time Virgil had a panic attack. The windows in the mind palace would show the weather growing darker, beginning to storm outside and sometimes making the power go out. They all knew now what this meant, they didn't before.

Now, however, Virgil's emotions needed a distraction and as quick as possible. Racking his brain for a quick answer, he concluded that belting out a song that resonated closely with him was a good idea. The debate of doing it here with the others or here in his room was the worst but he realised that the others wouldn't let him leave, so he only had one option. If he was going to calm down, he was going to have to do this and fast.

Taking a shaky deep breath, Virgil began singing in a beautiful but broken voice, "even when you think you've finally reached the ending," the others froze and looked at him, staring at him with an emotion he couldn't place his finger on, "you might realize you've only been pretending..." He bit his lip, taking a breath before continuing, "You only want to tell the story right, but you're haunted by the black and white..." His tears had started to fall faster but his breathing had slowed. Virgil's heart clenched in his chest but he continued, "it's not as simple as you thought, but was it all, all for not?

"When the story drops you hard into the pavement," Patton, Logan and Roman had adjusted themselves into a cross-legged position on the floor in front of Virgil, listening to him sing with slight worry and that unnamed emotion etched on their faces. "Even though you thought you knew what to behave meant..." This line hit home, seeing as he'd been trying to be better, to behave recently but it appeared he didn't really know what that meant, "but you find out you were thinking wrong, as you wind up back where you belong," another shaky inhale, "and you try to get it right...

"But instead it just comes back to bite you!" Virgil began projecting more, trying to be louder because his quiet voice wasn't quite working, he needed his makeshift audience to hear his sorrow, "I never wanted to be the bad guy! The bad guy, the bad guy!" He let a sob slip through his lips, his voice quieting a little again, "I never wanted to be the bad guy..." He curled on himself, sobbing sadly, though he had a smile on his face?

"But that's just how the story goes," he looked up at the others, smiling so wide and he didn't know why, "yeah, that's just how the story goes..." Virgil let his gaze meet each of theirs, meeting Roman's, then Logan's and then Patton's, before closing his eyes and hunching on himself further. He heard shuffling around him but chose to ignore it, that is until he felt three pairs of arms wrap around him. They all emphasised their breathing so he could copy and hugged him so tight.

When he'd calmed down considerably, they pulled back and met his eyes, all singing the same line to him in response to his quote-unquote "solo" from earlier. "That doesn't have to be where the story goes." They were smiling at him and he was smiling back and his hair soared with love and fondness. He was very glad they were they way they were and he wouldn't change them for the world. But, he would change  _with_ them, because they inspired him to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little thing. I listened to this and was struck with this idea so


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Imagine a Logan x anybody fic in which in the middle of conversation Logan pulls the “always serious, look at this necktie” argument again and the other person just yanks the tie off and possibly throws it to the corner of the room and undoes a button or two for good measure"  
> ~just-fic-me-up on Tumblr. 
> 
>  
> 
> Go follow them, I'm stealing their prompt that they said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the link to their post > http://just-fic-me-up.tumblr.com/post/167307734954/imagine-a-logan-x-anybody-fic-in-which-in-the

"Logan, that is insane! You can't do that!" Virgil yelled, "you can't be serious!" With the same ire Virgil held, Logan stood up straighter, "I am always serious, Virgil, you know this! Look at my necktie!" He pointed to the offending object and that was the last straw. Virgil marched forward and glared at Logan, holding direct eye contact, "you know what?!" Virgil grabbed Logan's tie and yanked it for good measure, "fuck your stupid necktie!" With quick hands, Virgil grabbed the knot and pulled, sending the tie whipping off of Logan's neck and he threw it into the farthest corner of the room.

The latter's face was ever-so worth it. Virgil smirked and grabbed Logan's collar, "maybe I'll just," he unbuttoned the first of two buttons, "undo some of your fuckin' buttons. For good measure, of course." Logan stood dumbfounded as Virgil began walking away. "Oh, and by the way?" Virgil turned around to point at him, "your idea was ludicrous, highly illogical and maybe a little insane and you should feel bad." All in good fun, of course. Virgil continued then to walk away with a wide smirk on his face. Logan left the commons after Virgil did, leaving his tie and buttons the way they were. 


	11. Discontinued!

This is not an update, I apologise. I am actually here to inform you that this multichapter story is now discontinued.  
All current chapters that are included in this story and the new ones I decided to publish will, from now on, be posted as individual  
stories that are part of a series. Thank you very much, have a great morning-day-afternoon-evening-night and I am sorry  
if any of you were looking for an update. I do hope that you enjoy the stories nonetheless. It is just easier for  
me to get stories out more efficiently this way, believe it or not. I love you all and thanks for reading! More stories  
are most definitely on their way so if you stick around and actually like my stuff, I would be looking forward to that!


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